Emotional intelligence

Extended definition

Emotional intelligence is a set of personal, interpersonal, discernment and anticipation skills that enable us to be emotionally balanced and to inspire emotional balance in others. It is a source of harmony with oneself and with others.

Personal skills

1. Ability to perceive and express emotions.
2. Ability to identify your emotional needs, those at the source of your emotional reactions.
3. Ability to modulate and soothe one’s own emotions, to free oneself from them.
4. Ability to decentralize your emotions so as to be in tune with their intensity.
5. The ability to be fully equanimous, at peace, without becoming overly emotional in the face of the shock of painful, disruptive or disturbing situations.
6. Ability to decentralize emotions to empathize with others.

Interpersonal skills

1. Ability to share emotions with others.
2. Ability to empathize with people expressing emotions.
3. The ability to perceive other people’s emotions more and more accurately.
4. Ability to soothe the emotions of others through peace reflexes.
5. Ability to help others recognize their emotional needs, de-center their emotions and calm themselves.

Discernment and anticipation skills

1. Ability to detach oneself from one’s emotions to better discern facts from one’s opinions, and from external pressures and manipulations.
2. Ability to discern the emotional needs of others, those that arouse their emotions.
3. Ability to discern actions and situations that tend to arouse the emotions of others (discern their red buttons).
4. Ability to anticipate the emotional reactions of others.

This richer definition of emotional intelligence incorporates the work of Mayer and Salovey, who further developed its definition by integrating the ability to reason better, by wisely directing one’s emotions (Goleman, 1995, 1998; Mayer and Salovey, 1997, 2000, 2003; Bar On, 1997).

Emotional intelligence and peace skills

There’s a clear link between emotional intelligence and peace skills. Emotional intelligence describes the skills for calming others and oneself, and bringing harmony to tense situations. It is a fundamental component of peace culture and peace education.