Common definition of empathy:
Empathy is generally defined as the ability to put oneself in another’s shoes. This definition is cold and insufficient to describe an empathetic relationship.
It would be a more accurate description to define it as the ability to get into the other person’s head and heart:
[1]
Definition including the notion of heart
Empathy is the ability to perceive what others may be experiencing, feeling and expecting, by placing oneself in the head and heart of others. Empathy is also the ability to recognize, welcome and respond sensitively to the emotions and needs of others.
This definition is well-suited to describe the three types of situations involving empathy: a situation in which you are not in the presence of another person (book, film, TV news, etc.), a situation in which you are with a particular person or persons, and a situation in which you are in contact with a population.
Definition associated with joy
Empathy is the ability to resonate with others. It’s through this resonance that people can connect with what they feel, see through each other’s eyes, imagine what each other is going through, grasp each other’s needs or simply share common aspirations. This resonance brings joy because it responds to the human need to feel connected, understood and valued.
This definition describes an empathic relationship between two people, rather than a relationship of helper to helpee.
Empathy takes on its full meaning when it becomes bidirectional: being with the other, not for the other, i.e. empathizing with, not empathizing for. Conversely, lack of empathy, i.e. lack of resonance, becomes a source of malaise for both parties, or at least for those who feel the need for it.
Definition of empathy in helping relationships
Empathy is the ability to establish a human connection with the person being cared for, with full presence and attention, while de-centering oneself from one’s own emotions, concerns, opinions and judgments. It is this presence and attention that will soothe the person being cared for, because he or she will feel considered.
Defining empathy as a conflict resolution tool
Empathy is also the ability to grasp in advance how the other is feeling in confrontations, to understand which words, arguments and decisions could affect him or her. In crisis situations between countries or communities, empathy is an ability that enables inspiring leaders to bring their citizens or members to look beyond the mutual affronts and wounds of the past, and to feel the reciprocal will to live in lasting peace.
Definition of empathy in the spiritual sense
Empathy is the ability to connect with a person or group. It can be felt as a sense of unity that lifts everyone above their differences. Empathy is thus the ability to resonate with others, even over differences or value systems that might seem to diverge. The result is usually profound joy.
Definition as a human value
If respect can be defined as the minimum amount of love or consideration for the other, empathy can be defined as the highest level of consideration for the other. Empathy is at the top of the scale of human values, more powerful than respect, benevolence or appreciation, because it goes deeper. In terms of human values, empathy feeds sympathy, compassion, consideration and benevolence.
| Date Author Source |
2009, 2020 Grains of Peace Online peace/education dictionary, www.grainesdepaix.org |
[1] Cf. Marshall Rosenberg:
“Empathic connection is an understanding of the heart in which we see the beauty in the other person.
Source: Nonviolent Communication: A language of Life (2nd edition).
(empathic connection is an understanding of the heart in which we see the beauty in the other person).
[2] Cf. Srimad Rajchandaraji:
“When an individual feels for another’s pain, as a superior towards an inferior, or feels sorry for a condition one cannot even imagine oneself in – that is the feeling of pity. We pity a blind person, for we don’t know what blindness is. However, when we rise higher, look at the other as an equal, can probably imagine ourselves in his condition, and feel a strong bond with him, then that pity converts itself into sympathy. When, however, we identify so totally with another that he suffers, and we feel the pain; he laughs, and joy suffuses our being; he is excited, and our heart leaps in exhilaration; then we are close to the condition that is called empathy.” (Chandrika’s translation of a 19th-century Jain text).
[3] Cf. Karen Suyemoto:
“Empathy is the ability to feel with another, not just for another.”.(White House speech, May 2013).
[4] Collection Grandir en paix (glossary), Graines de Paix, 2016.
[5] Cf. Ian McEwan:
“Imagining what it is like to be someone other than yourself is at the core of our humanity. It is the essence of compassion, and it is the beginning of morality.” Source: The Guardian, 15.9.2001.
[6] Marshall Rosenberg describes empathy by comparing it to the sensation of surfing above the waves:
“Imagine you’re on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. Are you with that energy right now? That’s empathy. No words – just being with that energy. Source: audio clip, France, February 2003.
[7] Cf. Roman Krznaric:
“Highly empathic people (HEPs) have an insatiable curiosity about strangers. They will talk to the person sitting next to them on the bus, having retained that natural inquisitiveness we all had as children, but which society is so good at beating out of us. They find other people more interesting than themselves but are not out to interrogate them.”
Source: Six Habits of Highly Empathic People, Berkelex University website for Greater Good, section on empathy.