Source: Trésors de la langue française (TLF)
A feeling that comes from positive comments from those around us, following something we’ve done or said that’s good, and which means that those around us appreciate us for it. Often, no one seems to notice what we do well, whereas a small compliment boosts our self-esteem and encourages us to do more.
A person who needs to feel valued is someone who is looking for recognition, trust and/or thanks for what they have done or would like to do.
When we feel valued, we have more self-confidence. As a result, we do things we didn’t dare to do before, including saying no when we risk being abused or when others want to drag us into violence. The more we feel valued, the more our violent feelings can dissipate.
opp: feeling devalued: this is what we feel either:
– when we make an effort to do something well, but those around us always find a way to criticize, even for something unimportant, without understanding the demolishing effect of their criticism
– when we’re in a situation where we can’t fulfill ourselves and give the best of ourselves (e.g. non-integration in the workplace (unemployed) or social non-integration in a local community (immigrants).
When we feel devalued, we could make the mistake of getting violent to make room for ourselves, to make ourselves feel better, but this ends up, on the contrary, devaluing ourselves in the eyes of others and also in our own eyes.